5 things to make you go....NSFW

So, during the process of doing my job, I get asked a wide variety of sex-related questions, and Googling has really exposed me to a wide array of concepts I had hitherto unheard of. Maybe you have not, either. Anyway, here are some.

1. Wikifur:

'Autumn Vixen'

This concept is amazing. A furry-based online peer-reviewed website. In case you are not familiar, a furry is generally a person that is 'expressing an interest in anthropomorphic animals and/or creatures'. From the outside, that general interest seems mostly sexual, and perverted. Is it though? I don't care. What part of anyones sex life isn't?

2. Exotic dildos:

Here is a site called Bad Dragon. They sell dildos and masturbators. Some of the dildos ejaculate and they also make and sell imitation semen refills. I don't want to ruin the whole surprise, here's a hint:

And another:

Once again, that's: http://www.bad-dragon.com/ .

3. Man lingerie:

The opulence and sexuality of lingerie for women, cut for men, so their junk can fit in the underpants. Enough said.

But not enough seen!

 

So, that and much more can be found here: http://xdress.com/

4. Testicle pumping/scrotal stretching:

Never thought this existed before a couple of customers called about it. You may guffaw at the idea, but here's a dude who takes it very seriously: https://www.pumptoys.com/lib/lib2b.htm

And here's his penis/testicles combo:

 Honestly, I think this looks pretty masculine, in an agricultural kind of way...

Here's some pumping/stretching routines in action:

Not a pressed ham.

Yep.





5. This plate:

This was brought to my attention during a certain wedding brouhaha, and I regret not bringing it up sooner.

From the site:
"A collaboration between Gribsby and illustrator Emanuele Caponera, this plate has been specially produced to mark the occasion of the wedding of Wills and Kate.
The plate is six inches wide. The lettering reads: "Wills and Kate - 29/4/11 - God bless you!" and "Gribsby's tantric commemorative tableware".
This is a limited edition of one thousand. Each plate comes with a numbered certificate of authenticity, signed by Gribsby.
The plate was produced in Stoke on Trent.
Please allow up to three weeks for delivery. Price includes postage and packing, inland and overseas."

For 80 pounds, this can be yours, to eat off every night. Functional, sexy ware.

Review - Wet Stuff Synergy 3X concentrated




3x concentrated formula


Item description: Wet Stuff Synergy 3X concentrated

Company: Wet, owned by Trigg Industries, Valencia CA. A note about this product: the brand 'Wet' is completely separate from the 'Wet Stuff' line of products from the Australian-based Gel Works Company. 

Retails for: 55g for $15.95

Product information: The title 'Synergy' refers to the fusion of water-based lube and silicone lube in the formula. Although this lube is more expensive then water-based (as silicone lubes are), you're supposed to use less as it is thicker, staying silkier and frictionless for longer. An interesting and recent development with the Wet Synergy line is the new 7X formula, promising an even better, longer lasting silicone and water-based lube.

Firstly, Wet Synergy promises a long-lasting lubricant that is frictionless and comfortable throughout. With the 3X concentrated formula, a little should go a long way with this product. Silicone lube is always harder to wash off than water-based lubricant, and Wet Synergy promises an easy clean-up with the use of warm water.

Like all silicone lubes, Wet Synergy is not compatible with toys made of silicone or Cyberskin material.

Another feature of this lube is the use of the trademarked LiquiSatisfaction Technology, which promises that the gel lubricant transforms during sexual activity into a 'silky layer of liquid lubrication'. I had noticed that this lubricant was thicker than others, but again, this is a property that Wet Synergy shares with other silicone-based lubricants.

I found the warning labels on the bottle quite odd at times, key examples are; 'Keep out of eyes and ears', 'Do not use near an open flame' and 'For cosmetic use only'. It was perturbing to read these warnings, when considering that this product is for use on very delicate mucus membranes.



7x concentration formula



The most challenging part about using Wet Stuff Synergy was handling the packaging. The bottle very quickly became super greasy, which is impossible to wash off, and can be difficult to use mid-coitus. But isn't it easy to wash off in warm water? No. That was just some advertising. It'll take a bit of time, some genital soap and a loofah to get properly clean after using this lube. If spilled, it will be hard to clean up, anywhere you spill it. It will also cause greasy-looking spots on fabrics that will show up even after a wash.

Also, I was promised that I would be able to use less lube, for longer. This wasn't necessarily the case. Although I noticed that there was longer times in between re-lubrication, I still use only a little less silicone lube then I would if I was using a water-based one.

An ideal application for this lube is during sex in the bath or shower. As it's so hard to remove, it is far longer lasting than an entirely water-based lube, which is obviously water soluble. One thing to remember though; the shower floor will become slippery too.

After using the Wet Stuff Synergy lube my opinion was that it was just another lube in an industry that is already saturated with product choices. Combining the underwhelming performance with the frustrating-to-use packaging, and I won't be re-purchasing this product. It was worthwhile for shower/bath sexual activity, but other then that, it's not for me, and there are a dozen other silicone-based products that I could be trying which can promise that same feature. Additionally, the combination of water-based lube with silicone means there are preservatives within the product that I wouldn't recommend for people with hypoallergenic product needs for example, Glycerin and Pentylene Glycol.

Why I Love Body Stockings

As the season shifts to winter, I have started wearing body stockings a lot more. Just so we are on the same page, a body stocking looks like this:

A full-body...stocking. I initially purchased it as a sexy thing to wear, but I was surprised to find the body stocking has so much more going for it!

Firstly though, it is a sexy thing to wear. Wear it out or around the house, people will want to put their feet in your mouth. Putting on one that fits well will make you want to wear big shoes and flip your hair wantonly, or whatever else you're into.

Secondly, they can be super comfortable. I say CAN because I have bought one with poorly placed straps that cut into my shoulders, and had to alter it. That might have been specific to that make, or even that particular garment. The other ones though*, are great! They feel like second skins. Sometimes hosiery will ride, sag in the crotch, pinch in my innards, but not these guys.

Thirdly, they are warm. Unusually warm, for something that is essentially sheer. There must be some science involved, something that perhaps an astronomer could explain. It gets kinda cold here, especially with the wind and wearing a body stocking mostly negates the need for singlets or skivvies, even if you are the type of person that always feels the weather (which I totally am).

Lastly, long-sleeved body stockings are reversible. This means that the long-sleeve front-lace up one you have:

can also be the long-sleeve back lace-up one you've always wanted (the pattern may not magically change upon body stocking reversal):

So, you may have some questions. Here are a few I have heard so far:

How do I pee?

Peeing will be difficult unless you are ONLY wearing the body stocking. The solution to this is: buy a crotchless one. Practically all of them are, but it is easy to double check on the box. Another upside to the crotchless body stocking is double sexy points. You can also just pee through your stocking (not recommended).

Will it catch on my piercings?

Yes. This is another situation that requires a little planning or a change of hardware. Captive bead ring piercings won't catch like bar piercings will, also, pick the right-sized mesh for your piercing. Either diamond or fence net so your pierced part will slip through, or fishnet so that the piercing cannot slip through at all.

They seem really delicate and like they are going to rip easily.

Ok, that wasn't a question, but I will answer as though it is one. I guess they can rip as easily as any stockings would, and there are some simple things you can do to prolong the life of your body stocking:

1. Wash the stocking inside a laundry bag on a delicates cycle. Hang up to air. Never tumble dry.

2. Don't wear the jewellery that you know will catch on stockings (you know the ones).

3. Take care when drinking and wearing spiked high heels - they might catch.

That's pretty much all I can think of. The ones I have are holding up really well, and I don't have a good track record with any kind of hosiery so I think if you take a bit of care you will get a lot of wear out of them.

Happy being warm this winter, inside and out of the house!

 *I feel I should make a note that I buy the Queen-sized hosiery which is supposed to fit up to 140kgs, so perhaps that comfort comes from the extra room in the stocking.

B Swish BCurious Waterproof Massager

The BCurious waterproof massager is 10cm long, 4cm wide and looks a bit like a shoehorn. It has a two-button panel, 'On' and 'Cycle through' which lights up with a pretty blue light. It is a part of the luxury vibrator range by the B Swish company, promising 7 functions, waterproof antics and to contour perfectly to my body. I purchased this for $98.95, which is pretty steep for such a small toy, but you can purchase it online here for $66.30. The reason for the price is due to the rechargeable battery, saving you money in the long run (and saving heaps of batteries from a landfill). It comes in a classy-looking black and purple box with its own bag and recharger, and the recharger is one of those hassle-free ones that doesn't take up two spaces on a motherboard. Bonus!

The BCurious initially needs a full charge, which takes about 2 hours. It also promises 2 hours of continuous use, with a 60 day standby on the battery charge.

Initially holding the BCurious, I can't help but notice the quality of the surface material. This toy is made from PC plastics and I would describe it as feeling like 'velvety' plastic. It doesn't have the cold quality of some plastic toys. The second thing I noticed about the BCurious is that I had no idea how to hold it. It is a really weird shape, which may be alienating to those used to traditional phallic vibrators. Also, what exactly is it for? G-spot, prostate, clitoral, perineal?

The BCurious is designed to specifically cup the feminine contours; the pointed tip rests just under the clit while the inner labia also receives vibrations from the sides of the massager, although the BCurious seems to be a multi-fit massager, fitting in the contours of the neck, shoulder, calf and perineum. For that reason, it is a bit uni-sex and can be a good toy for couples during foreplay. You can hold it a number of different ways, but the most natural-feeling way for me was to have my index and middle fingers towards the pointed end with my thumb along the side, similar to holding a mouse. This is a toy designed for stimulation rather than insertion, so you need to have a comfortable hand position for continuous use.

The BCurious would have been a better toy if it was not for the location of the buttons. This is a smaller-scale massager and I found it difficult to hold and use properly without accidentally turning it off or changing to another function, something which can be very frustrating. Also, during use, the entire toy can become covered with lubricant, making it hard to hold, let alone use with any particular style. I would not recommend using during sex in the shower, simply for the water wasted. The bath is another matter though, and this is a vibrator that can handle being fully immersed as long as the recharge tab is flush against the side of the toy.

I like the feel of the toy, and the vibrating functions work well for me. There is a choice of low, medium and high, and several pulse combinations. They may not be powerful enough for some, but for the size of the toy they are strong, and quiet! I would recommend this vibrator when discretion is needed. The size of toy also makes it seem perfect for travel, but pack your recharger in case the toy accidentally turns on during transit. Cleaning the BCurious is also really simple, especially as you don't have to worry about water damage (unless the tab is out). It just needs a wash with warm water, time to air-dry and then a spray with some antibacterial toy cleaner.

Review - Icicles no.11 Ribbed Anal Massager


  


An idea of the range available

 



Fancy



The Icicles range of glass dildos and massagers are created by the Pipedream company. This series of toys is actually quite large, with shapes, colours and erotic features for almost everyone.  This particular massager is known as no. 11.



Plain




Firstly, when considering buying one, remember this: the Icicles series are packaged in one of two ways. Your choices of dildo/massager packaging are: fancy and plain. My massager retailed for $54.95 in 'plain' but for the 'fancy', expect to pay between $5-$20 extra, depending on where you purchase it from. In retrospect, I would recommend that you pay the extra as the 'fancy' box contains a styrofoam cube in which the toy rests in a purpose-built niche, protecting it from bumps and knocks in the future. Much less time-wasting then sewing your own padded velvet bag, which is what I had to do when I realised it wasn't safe how it was. If you have read my previous rant on glass toys, then you know the dangers facing glass dildos and the importance of correct dildo storage.

Icicles no. 11 Ribbed Anal Massager is a solid piece of glass at 15cm long, weighing in at about 200 grams. It has a number of flanges along the shaft for safety with anal play, each with a different feature: a studded head, a smooth knob halfway along the shaft, and about 3cms of ridged glass with 1/2cm ridges topped with a knob on the end. This range of features gives a lot of variation during play, either end can be used to create different sensations and this one toy can be used two or three different ways. Although it is labelled as an anal toy, it works equally well vaginally.

As it is made of glass, the massager can be used for all kinds of sensation play, if you are unsure as to what that is, refer to this previous post. The Pipedream website actually recommends putting it in the microwave to be heated up, but if that sounds too dangerous, run a room-temperature massager through some hot water for a minute or two. Another positive to this massager includes ease of clean up (as glass is non-porous).



Dildo glamour shot



The only negatives I can come up with for the Icicles no. 11 Ribbed Anal Massager is the poorly-thought out packaging that I purchased the product with, and I should have anticipated that particular problem. Icicles no. 11 is a beautiful product, and a expertly handmade object. It is very versatile regarding sensation and use, and if you need the vibrating option, you can place a double-motored cockring such as the Adam & Eve All Nighter Dual Wireless Cockring around the shaft to provide extra sensation. I would recommend an item from the Icicles range for almost everyone, as there is a size, colour and style to suit all tastes for masturbation and/or penetration.

 

Review - Durex Play 2in1 Massage Lubricant

Durex Play 2in1 is both a massage gel and a lubricant. It is water-based, and was released in 2006 by SSL International, which in 2010 was purchased by the company Reckitt Benckiser.  Reckitt Benckiser is also responsible for product lines such as Air Wick, Strepsils and Nurofen. 

Durex 2in1 retails for $16.95 for 200mL in stores. Unfortunately, it seems that 200mLs is the only purchasing option you have for it. It comes in a funny phallic bottle, with a flip-top cap on the bottom.

From my perspective, using 2in1 is either really awesome, or pretty terrible. Its multipurpose function, as both a massage gel AND lube sounded really attractive, and there are positive reviews that convinced me that this was a product for me. I love massages, and one thing can lead to another, in an environment that is latex-friendly. Sounds great.

Using 2in1 as a massage gel is a sensational experience. It drips out of the bottle onto your skin, and it is always cool. It warms quickly to body temperature and is inititally incredibly slippery, allowing your hands to glide effortlessly over your lover as you knead and fondle them. After about a minute, the gel becomes thicker (like a moisturiser) and quickly dries. It is nice to have a massage option that is not as oily as massage oil. Who wants oily bed sheets and clothes? It's impossible to wash out, although dishwashing detergent may help. 2in1 contains Vitamin E too, so when it has dried it leaves your skin feeling buttery-soft. These are all good points. 

 What really lets 2in1 down for me is what makes it a good massage gel. It dries quickly. Really, really quickly. If one thing leads to another during a Durex Play 2in1 massage, make sure you have an actual lube standing by, because you will need it within one or two minutes of sex. Now, a good tip to know is that water-based lubricants can be 're-activated' once they have dried by applying some more water (or saliva) to them, but if you have to stop everything frequently to keep re-lubricating, forget it. The moment is over.

The label on the bottle promises that I will find the lube 'pleasantly sweet', which, surprisingly enough, I did. Unsurprisingly, it had a pretty terrible aftertaste, like artificially sweetened foods.

Ultimately, Durex Play 2in1 is both a frustrating lube and an awesome massage gel in a bottle whose shape made me titter the first time I saw it. I would not use it during oral sex, or any penetrative sex you don't want interrupted periodically. I would recommend it to a person on a budget, who wanted latex-friendly sexy massages, but I would also be recommending having a spray bottle or glass of water nearby for re-lubrication of the lubricant.

Score: 4/10

Review - Wet Stuff Gold

I thought for my first review I would discuss something close to my heart - lubricants. Today I am focusing on Wet Stuff Gold.

The 'Wet Stuff' line of lubricants by Gel Works (an Australian-based company) have been on the market since 1987. Since then, variations have been released, such as the silicone-based Wet Stuff Secrets in 1996. Wet Stuff Gold, a warming lubricant, was released in 1993. There are a number of packaging options for Wet Stuff Gold based on your promiscuity and budget: 4g sachet, 55g travel bottle, 100g tube, 270g & 550g pump-action bottles, 1kg & 5kg refill containers and 200kg drums. To test the product, I purchased the 55g travel-sized bottle. The 55g bottle retails for $8.55 at AO Adultshop although I should mention that the whole Wet Stuff line is really competitively priced, compared to other lubes of similar type (i.e. water-based) and weight.

The official line of the Gel Works company on why Wet Stuff Gold differs from Wet Stuff is because Wet Stuff Gold has an 'extra long lasting formulation developed to give even longer lubrication than Wet Stuff. It contains an extra water retaining ingredient'....but you cannot know what exactly that is on their site, apparently. Comparing the ingredients list will not help you. They are identical, down to Polyquaternium 7, 10, 15 & 32.

Labelling confusion aside, how is Wet Stuff Gold during sex?  Pretty good. Wet Stuff Gold needs lots of friction and time to become unpleasantly sticky and dried out on the ol' mucus membranes. The aftertaste is pretty bad but this is a lube that never promised to taste good, so I won't deduct marks for that. It is also really easy to wash off afterwards, and does not stain fabrics.

Wet Stuff Gold is a really good multi-purpose lubricant to have on hand. It is suitable for condoms and almost all toy materials including plastic, cyberskin, silicone, latex, rubber, metal and glass, and according to Gel Works the incidence of allergic reaction is one report per 10 tons of product distributed, or one in 10 million uses.

My issues with Wet Stuff Gold as a lube are minimal. One problem is Gold's propensity to ... travel. Water takes the path of least resistance, and so does this water-based lube. Have sex in the missionary position? Wet Stuff Gold in your arsecrack. Woman on top? More like man with a lubed-up ballsack. Congress of wombat and worm? Forget it. You will get lube and dirt in your eyes so fast...

Secondly, Wet Stuff Gold is a warming lubricant. That is not the problem, the problem is I only realised this fact after some research for this review. This is not information that is available on the label, although it is available on the company's site. And I hadn't noticed a warming effect, even after intensive use.

Lastly, the 55g travel bottle is a pain. The shape of the packaging design ensures the bottle is NEVER stable, the cap leaks, and is it difficult to use during the heat of the moment. This guarantees lube in your sex box, on your nightstand, covering your hands every time you touch the bottle, and, if you were using it during travelling, all through your luggage and toiletries bag.

Confusing labels and poorly-designed packaging aside, Wet Stuff Gold is a lube I would use again for most kinds of sex. It is a reliable, non-irritating, non-staining lubricant product, which is priced competitively. I will never buy another bottle in the travel-sized design though, it's too much work. Only pump-action bottles from now on. The pump-action bottle option also means refilling is easier, a massive plus for reducing packaging waste.

Score: 7/10.

Glass toys

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Inaugural post.

Hello there.

Why have I started this blog? I work in an adultshop in a regional city in Queensland, Australia. Sometimes customers have questions about products I cannot answer, and sometimes I can't find those answers. Questions such as 'Does this REALLY work?' and 'What does should this feel like?' and most importantly, 'Is this safe for my body?'

I hope to help answer some of these questions. This I will be doing through interviews, reviews of toys and other sex-related items* and discussions of sex-positive practices.


Here goes...


*both officially recognised as body-safe and not body-safe.